I've never been so ashamed as I am of the things I used to believe.

I used to think that the world we live on, Earth, and all the living creatures were created magically in a few days by an all-powerful deity floating over the water several thousand year ago. Why in the modern age of scientific knowledge did I believe something contradicted so easily by mountains (yes, literal mountains with regards to geology) of evidence to the contrary? Easy. I was taught those things because that is what is written in a certain sacred text. I was a child, too, so I believed the things that were told to me by adults.

I used to believe that I possessed an immortal soul that transcends my physical being, but that's rubbish. When my brain activity goes below a certain threshold, I have no consciousness of any kind. This happens at various times while I am asleep, and whenever I have a medical procedure involving anesthesia. If I get hit hard in the head, my consciousness is temporarily reduced or even gone. There is a very clear connection between the physical brain and consciousness and no evidence whatsoever to support consciousness existing outside of that. If there is an immortal soul that is part of my being, I don't much care for it, as once my body dies I am quite certain that all consciousness will end. So why did I believe that? I was told that as a young child.

I used to believe there was a deity who was intimately concerned with the sexuality and sexual decisions and thoughts made by everyone. I was taught that this was for our own benefit. So, an all-powerful deity is concerned with people's consensual sexual behavior while all the time millions of people are literally starving to death and this deity could feed them, but doesn't. Instead it is concerned with arbitrary sexual rules--because it loves us.

I used to believe that this deity was so unhappy with our arbitrary rule-breaking that the only way to make up for it was that we all have to die and then suffer for eternity. It doesn't even make sense, as suffering is very much tied to our consciousness and our physical bodies, both of which do not last after death. But, that's what had to happen. The loving deity's answer to rule breaking was eternal torture. And then, out of a love motive, this all-powerful deity sent himself to exist as one of us, though without sexuality, apparently, and then to suffer for a very short period of time and then die and then un-die magically and that somehow was an equivalent payment for billions of people suffering an eternity of post-death torment. I was taught that as a young child.

I used to believe that an all-powerful, all-loving deity would gladly heal everyone who asked. Of course, not everyone who asks gets healed, there isn't even a statistically significant correlation between asking for healing and having improved health. In fact, the whole concept of faith healing is very silly. If there was a loving deity capable of healing me, if I asked, why were so many people suffering constantly. I bet many of them cry out to this and other deities on a daily basis and are never healed. Why on earth did I believe such lunacy? Well, I was taught that as a boy.

Slowly, one-by-one, each of these beliefs was repeatedly worn away in my life, starting with all of science making a complete mockery of creationism and ending with the realization that I'd never seen any hard evidence for any of my fantastical religious beliefs.

There was a period of time where I didn't believe any anti-scientific beliefs at all, but still held to the idea of a deity existing in some alternate reality that loved everyone but for some reason was unwilling to help us other than founding a religion that looks a lot like a lot of other religions. But that melted away, too. Now I'm left to look back over my life of ignorance and slow awakening and wonder what I can do to help people embrace rational thought instead of irrational belief in ridiculous stories and fantastical concepts.